i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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