i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
