I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
