If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
