Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
