you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
