ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
