so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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