it wasn't lemon gatorade
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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