Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize