We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This is my life. Enjoy the view
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
