Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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