i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
