I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
