You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
