from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
