oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
