She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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