I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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