Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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