hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
