You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
