There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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