Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
