Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize