she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
