Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
