my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
