fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
