Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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