so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
