Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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