hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
So. Much. Porn.
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