are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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