She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
