this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
