well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
