I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize