You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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