it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
