listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You may now shotgun with the bride
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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