Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
