My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
