Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
