he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think my moral compass just broke
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
