She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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