the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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