i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
