When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
