i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
