I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
