Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Everclear isn't food dammit
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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