Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
