You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
