It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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