I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
