It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Randomize
