It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
