I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
