Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
