I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
