Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
