I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
