and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
