The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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