God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
