So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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