We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
