I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
