the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
